If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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