Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're not piercing ourselves today.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
