just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
