he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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