i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
