hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
