Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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