Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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