Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
