So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
