Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
