I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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