There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
