Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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