im drinking this country out of the recession.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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