You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
