They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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