I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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