Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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