It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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