We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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