please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
