I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
