Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
this just has baby written all over it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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