party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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