so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
