At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
