I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
