can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
