I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
