I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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