i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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