I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
