i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
But theres a keg here and me gusta
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
