I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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