so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
a search helicopter?!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The cops high fived after they tackled you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
