She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
