I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
