I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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