I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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