How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
