We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Help. Why am I so naked?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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