i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
