all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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