We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
