Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
