i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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