How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
