Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
