Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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